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How to Have an Ideal Relationship
By Lorrin L. Lee (Compiled from readings and friends' life experiences.)

A relationship is a natural, logical, and harmonious association.
This happens when people WANT to be with each other and look forward to sharing goals,
time, and activities together. Here are fun and easy ways to a loving — Ideal Relationship.

1. TALK. Always in pleasant tones. No shouting or swearing at each other. Speak only positive words with gentleness and kindness. Communicate daily. This is the highest and most caring form of love.

2. WALK TOGETHER more. Take 30 minutes a day. To exercise, communicate, release emotions, share ideas, goals, and to clear up any misunderstandings. It's okay to hold hands, too!

3. Do NEW and DIFFERENT ACTIVITIES together. Enjoy a new restaurant, a different dish, a concert, a unique vacation, attend a class together — something exciting that both of you can plan and look forward to. Learn together and you'll be happier.

4. Give each other GIFTS often. Like a magazine subscription, a special book, a warm bath and massage, flowers, surprise experiences, favorite foods, and the many other special things your mate would enjoy and get excited about.

5. Write LOVE NOTES. Hide them around the home — in clothing, pockets, in the kitchen drawer and secret places. Send some to his or her working place. Write a passionate love letter. Express your love in writing on exquisite stationery. Attach a gift certificate or a crispy $100 bill. Use your imagination and make it a fun surprise. And do it often!

6. DO NOT CRITICIZE, CONDEMN or COMPLAIN! This is a NO-NO. Only praises. Acknowledge the goodness in each other. There is no place for negativity in a loving and lasting relationship ever! Your mate will do the right thing — as you lead by example.

7. ACHIEVE and MAINTAIN your IDEAL figure. It is a gift to yourself and your mate. A healthy and attractive body also promotes a healthy relationship.

8. Allow your partner to be RESPONSIBLE for his or her life. He or she has the right to determine his or her own reality and destiny. Always respect that choice. Both of you can live your lives in your own way — harmoniously. Treasure each other's differences. Do your very best to make life easier and more fun for your mate.

9. Grow TOGETHER. At the same speed and direction — by sharing similar ideas and activites. This will bond you together even more while building on fond memories. (People who don't grow together will complete their relationship and move on to lead separate lives. This is why most people divorce.)

10. DO NOT be POSSESSIVE. Don't act as though you "own" your mate. Support, encourage each other's way of living and individual interests. Be grateful in harmony.

11. TREASURE your TIME together. It could be your last. Look at it this way and you'll always appreciate each other even more. Have NO reason for regrets. Spend time with each other doing all the things you both love to do. Do it now! Tomorrow may not come. So together — plan now for the best times of the rest of your lives.

12. IT is OKAY to DO whatever pleases BOTH of you. In private, there are no limits on what you can do together with each other...as long as both benefit and agree. Whatever other people think of what you do or say is none of your business! So, go ahead experiment — and satisfy each other to the limit!

13. Be OPEN. To new ideas, experiences, and relationships. This is the way for fun, growth and expansion in your lives. The more you LEARN together...the happier you both will be.

14. FORGIVE and LOVE. Release the past at every moment. Live in the present. Plan for your future — together.

15. Be FREE of resentments, anger, jealousy, hatred, and envy toward each other. This will open both of you to even greater respect for each other. Be thankful for your mate's kindness.

16. Eliminate arguing totally. Anywhere, anytime. Especially while eating or in bed. Each person has a right to his or her own opinion. Respect each others ideas, philosophy, and outlook on life. Be a great listener!

17. SMILE and LAUGH with each other. A prescription for aliveness and health. Don't take yourself or your mate too seriously. Lighten up and laugh more often. Remember, your smiles are true gifts to each other.

18. Look into each other's EYES often. See the love, truth, and beauty in your mate. The more you look into each other's eyes lovingly — the more you will love each other more deeply! Do this daily. It's very powerful and fun!

19. TOUCH each other TENDERLY every day. Hug. Kiss. Caress. These are wonderful ways to show caring and love. We ALL need it. More than we care to admit!

20. Develop a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. Good food promotes a healthier state of mind for a more meaningful relationship. Eat lots of fruits, vegetables, whole wheat, grains, hi-fiber, low-fat, low-calorie foods. Drink more water. Get more rest. Keep yourself cleansed, nourished, and balanced.

21. Keep your home, car, kitchen, closets, rooms — simple, neat, clean and organized. This will help promote a tranquil setting for greater peace and happiness in your lives. It really works! Begin this — today!

22. Dress your best. Be appropriate, neat, clean, and proud of your appearance. How you look, especially in public — enhances your mate's choice and appearance, too!

23. SHARE in Financial Matters. If you are married, communicate with each other on all your finances. If you have a family business, be sure both are informed on profits, losses, expenses, etc. Set your financial priorities together. This will help to strengthen your relationship which is built on trust and sharing. Enjoy building your financial future together. This is important.

24. ACCEPT each other TOTALLY. Exactly the way both of you are. Do not try to change each other's uniqueness. Allow your mate to change if and when he or she desires. This promotes everlasting peace.

25. Say: "I LOVE YOU". Daily, many times. Especially when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Say it for the rest of your lives together. Never ever take love for granted. Express it verbally as well as with action. We all need to hear that magical phrase. It reaffirms how we feel at that moment. So, fill your lives with millions of moments of love by saying: "I love you."


You may also see this loving work in Sonda Ray's book, "Essays on Creating Sacred Relationships" along with other fascinating ideas.